Australian Early Menopause Network

Australian Early Menopause Network » Recent Posts http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Dicussion Forum en-US Sat, 19 May 2012 19:02:10 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/search.php kirsty on "Why is Adopting, IVF and Surrogacy so Hard to do in Australia?" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/why-is-adopting-ivf-and-surrogacy-so-hard-to-do-in-australia#post-567 Tue, 15 May 2012 12:58:04 +0000 kirsty 567@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Tanya, I'm finding the same thing. I've been looking into other options and there really aren't any easy ones. I've read stories of women who move to Hong Kong so they can adopt a child from Sudan because it's easier than going through the Australian system. I know Deborah-Lee Furness (Hugh Jackman's wife) is working publicly on making it easier for Australians to adopt internationally -- <a href="http://www.adoptionawarenessweek.com.au/" rel="nofollow">http://www.adoptionawarenessweek.com.au/</a> but I don't think she's getting very far. I have started to get my head around the fact that my husband and I will never have children. We might look into permanent care but this is a difficult road too. Perhaps it's time to embrace sleep ins, fun nights out, quality time together and the other amazing things in life? Kirsty :-) kirsty on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-566 Tue, 15 May 2012 12:49:47 +0000 kirsty 566@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Tanya, I just wanted to echo the comments of others to say THANK YOU for this website. So many women are silent about their EM and I appreciate the space you have created for people to connect and get support from each other. So thank you for putting it in an Australian context and I look forward to being part of the AEMN community. Kirsty kirsty on "Early Menopause and Infertility - 3 years on!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/early-menopause-and-infertility-3-years-on#post-565 Tue, 15 May 2012 12:46:33 +0000 kirsty 565@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Thank you for sharing your story, Tanya. You have been on such a journey and it's nice to hear from someone who has been thrown out the other side (as I'm well and truly still being thrown around in the washing machine). I'm glad you have found some sort of peace with what you've been through, Kirsty kirsty on "Support in Melbourne" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/support-in-melbourne#post-564 Tue, 15 May 2012 12:44:27 +0000 kirsty 564@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Jo and Tanya, I'm living in Melbourne and experiencing premature menopause at 32. My diagnosis was 6 months ago and I've just started getting my head around it. I would be keen to meet up with others going through the experience as there doesn't seem to be in any official support groups around! I think it's really important to connect and share the experience. Anyone is welcome to email me - <a href="mailto:vegematarian@gmail.com">vegematarian@gmail.com</a> Kirsty :-) admin on "AEMN in the News" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/aemn-in-the-news#post-525 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:47:40 +0000 admin 525@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Sheraden, It was great to hear from you again. I was really sorry to read that your endo pain has returned! It is such a mysterious and debilitating condition. I was fascinated to read that you have some deposits on your diaphragm! I hope that you have managed to get some further relief from the discomfort and pain. It sounds like you are in a very frustrating situation with the HRT - it's a catch 22 isn't it - relief when you're not on it but all this advice to be on it to protect your bones etc over the long term. I too, struggled to find a good gynaecologist. And yes, it often seems like you a paying alot of money to a specialist who is in a rush and rarely has time to answer your questions thoroughly or at times, accurately. I too have found that doing my own research has been of greater benefit. I have also been told many times over throughout different medical experiences that I just have to live with it but I have always managed to find a new solution, new expert or a new way of management etc. I will say that this has taken lots of energy, money and time but it has been worth it. I'm not sure if you've seen one before but can I recommend an endocrinologist? I have had significant success since seeing one regularly. I didn't see one until all my girly bits had been removed and I'd been in Early Menopause for awhile. I wish that I had done it sooner. I was frustrated with the lack of hormonal balance I was experiencing - I have a thyroid condition too and this was complicating things. The positive changes since seeing my endocrinologist have been fantastic. Realistically, maintaining the hormonal balance will require maintenance and some juggling throughout my life as my body changes etc and it seems that collaborating with a good endocrinologist is working for me. We have a few members in southern QLD that I can put you in contact with and if you’re willing to travel I can recommend an outstanding endocrinologist – are you happy to email me at <a href="mailto:earlymenopause@yahoo.com">earlymenopause@yahoo.com</a> and I can share the specific information and contacts with you. I think I may have mentioned this already but I’m also thinking about organising a weekend away/mini conference for women experiencing Early Menopause in October this year. Good luck with your local endo group – what a great initiative! As you know, connecting with women in similar experiences makes the world of difference. Hope to hear from you again soon Sheraden and really hope that you find a solution to managing your pain and HRT ASAP! Best wishes, Tanya Sheraden on "AEMN in the News" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/aemn-in-the-news#post-514 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:24:55 +0000 Sheraden 514@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Tanya Thank you so much for replying to my post and I apologise for taking such a long time to reply to you. In response to your question about how endo can come back after a hysterectomy; there is still so little information about the causes of endo. I had the hysterectomy based on the theory that endo gets out of the uterus and into the pelvis from retrograde mensturation but even if that is how it starts, microscopic sized adhesions can still be left after surgery. I still have endo on my diaphragm and my bowel. Unfortunately, within days of my last post, my endo pain had come back really badly and I have constant pain again. I am really confused at the moment because I have one gynaecologist who suggested I go off my oestrogen patches for 6 weeks and if the pain gets better, it's from endo if not it is now something else. Another gynaecologist is saying that I now have chronic pelvic pain and there is nothing left for me but learning to deal with living with pain. I have been off my patches for 4 weeks (not loving the hot flushes but so far my only symptom) and my endo pain is not gone but heaps better. I have been researching the risks of surgical menopause and I know that I have to go back on the patches but the oestrogen feeds my endo which causes more pain. I would love to find a doctor who will sit down with me and answer my questions and not make me feel as though I have to hurry up for his next patient. I really feel like I am getting so much more information from my own research but would like to check the details with a professional. If you have any suggestions for a fantastic (& patient) gynaecologist, I would really appreciate it. You also asked me about which state I live in case you have other members living in my area. I live in Murwillumbah in Northern NSW (about 20 minutes south of the Gold Coast). I would be happy to be in contact with other women who are in early menopause. I don't know anyone else with severe endometriosis or who is my age and going through menopause so it would be amazing to speak to women who understand what it is like. I am also about to start a local endometriosis group. Thanks for your help Tanya. Warm regards Sheraden admin on "AEMN in the News" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/aemn-in-the-news#post-496 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 20:27:43 +0000 admin 496@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Sheraden, Welcome to the AEMN community and thank you for your post on the forum! I am so delighted that you have joined. Thank you also for sharing your story. I was sorry to read of your infertility and it sounds like your journey to Menopause has certainly had its challenges. It was lovely to read about the wonderful support of your husband. I hope that the impact of your endometriosis continues to be mild and that your Menopause symptoms remain at bay. Elements of your journey into Menopause and subsequent infertility were similar to mine. As you may have read in the Body and Soul article, I too had a hysterectomy in an effort to achieve a pain free and healthy life that was not dominated by my crazy hormones! Adenomyosis was my diagnosis and my ovaries were also full of cysts upon their removal. I too, haven't felt less of a woman since my surgeries. Connecting with other women experiencing EM and fertility challenges has been such a significant part of my healing and choice to move on and live life. I hope that being part of AEMN brings you the same benefits! In answer to your question, I wore a HRT patch after my ovaries were removed. The hot flushes and other Menopausal symptoms began immediately after surgery. I started on a patch called Estradot - the original dose was 25 and after I awhile I started wearing a strength of 50. The patches stopped the Menopause symptoms, in particular the hot flushes. I also have a thyroid condition and after consulting with a new endocrinologist he suggested I try a tablet form of oestrogen as he was also making changes to my thyroid medication. I was always hesitant to take HRT in tablet form as I had read that it is harder work for my liver. The Dr said that it made no difference with the particular HRT tablet he prescribed for me - it's called Zumenon and I take it daily. I can't remember exactly why he suggested I make the change and will check at my next appointment. I will say that when I was on the patch, I would sometimes forget to change it on time and would notice some subtle fluctuations in my emotions and Menopause symptoms. The consistency of the daily tablet has obviously taken this away. I have been fascinated to read and learn that endometriosis can return even after a hysterectomy. I did ask a gynaecologist why this can happen and she said that it's a mystery. I was wondering if you had any information on how it can grow and be present with no monthly cycle? I was also wondering if you're happy to share what state you live in? Sometimes, AEMN members living in the same area like to be connected. I am so pleased that you found your way to AEMN via the Body and Soul article. It was our first official media attention – hopefully the first of many so that we can continue to raise awareness for EM and associated infertility. Take care Sheraden and I hope to hear from you again soon! Tanya Sheraden on "AEMN in the News" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/aemn-in-the-news#post-495 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:13:52 +0000 Sheraden 495@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ I found your website from reading the article in Body and Soul. I have never commented on an internet forum before but I don't personally know anyone else who is in menopause at 40 like me. I also don't know anyone who is infertile and hasn't been able to have children like me so I thought it might be nice to be in contact with people who really understand. I have severe endometriosis and when surgery, medication and diet didn't get rid of the crippling and never-ending pain (everyday - not just once a month) I decided to have a hysterectomy as a last ditch effort to try and live a pain-free life. The pain became bearable for about a year and then came back worse than ever. At that point, my one ovary that wasn't taken in the hysterectomy started to fail and I started to get some of the symptoms of menopause. Tests confirmed that I was going into menopause. The ovary was also huge and full of endo and other cysts so I had another surgery to remove it. The hot flushes started within a day but then stopped again a day later when I was put on oestrogen patches (Estraderm MX50). The last surgery was in July this year and I have had no symptoms of menopause at all. I am actually having trouble keeping weight on rather than the weight gain which is usually associated with menopause. We tried to get pregnant for 7 years so I have had time to come to terms with the fact that we can't have children. I am extremely lucky to have wonderful husband. Lots of people have children but don't have a happy marriage so I know I am very fortunate. I also have never felt that something is missing since my hysterectomy and I have never felt like any less of a woman which I know is an issue for some women. I would be really interested to know of anyone else who is on the same eostrogen patches and the experience they have had. I am optimistic (and hopeful) that I will continue to have the same great results from the patches for the next 5 years. Unfortunately some of my enodmetriosis pain has returned but it it usually mild and comes and goes. Congratulations on your website Tanya. It was also great to read the article in Body and Soul because menopause in young woman (or youngish in my case) doesn't get much coverage in the media. Sheraden admin on "Early Menopause and Infertility - 3 years on!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/early-menopause-and-infertility-3-years-on#post-494 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 20:04:09 +0000 admin 494@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Yesterday was the third anniversary of my hysterectomy and the removal of my uterus. My entry into Early Menopause was nearly two and a half years ago. I am now 35 and we will have been married for four years next week. What a difference a few years makes! I am finally on the right combination of HRT (and thyroid medication) for my body and have just begun to lose the weight and fluid that I gained as a result of being sick. This has taken much research, many doctor’s visits and medication trials. I don’t miss my periods at all or the irrationality and unpredictability my hormones delivered prior to my surgeries. So physically things continue to improve at a rapid rate. I don’t ever really remember ‘having my health’ before – what a gift! Emotionally, things have also improved. Being in Early Menopause has never really bothered me. The loss of choice about having a baby naturally and living in a parenting world remained the hard part for me. I don’t think about being infertile much anymore and the intense grief has subsided. That is not to say that a pregnancy announcement, listening to people talk about their children or ask if I am a Mum doesn’t trigger it sometimes. I maintain that you learn to live with the loss. I can’t stand the word closure. I have moved on but it will always be a part of me. I don’t want to close it off! I will never be able to give birth to a baby. I’m different, my life is different and my body is different now too. I won’t be the woman I was before and I don’t want to be. I have grown so much and I suppose that I now have a freeing acceptance of my new reality. This has had a huge impact on my life and ability to change and move forward. It has taken awhile and a lot of hard work to get to this point. Surrounding myself with people who got it has continued to really help. Making good decisions for myself, exploring new options and at times removing myself from situations has been an important part of my healing. Recently, I joined a new social group. The only membership requirement is that you are not allowed to be a parent, by choice or circumstance, it doesn’t matter! Before this, I had been feeling quite isolated in my peer group as many of them are raising young families of their own. It’s lovely to be part of a group of women for whom there is an element of equal footing immediately where I am defined just as me! Partners attend some events too – sometimes I forget that my husband is also in the same boat socially when it comes to being a dad the traditional way. For a long time, I felt that I was letting us down because I couldn’t have a baby and my husband is still fertile. I realised he loves me for more than my girly bits and he never, ever made me feel different or that I was inadequate. He has just continued to support me 110%. I have learnt much about unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness from him. I still don’t know if, when or how I will be a Mum. For me, that’s okay. Everyone experiencing the journey of Early Menopause and associated infertility is different. There’s no right or wrong. There are certainly ups and downs and it takes continued commitment for me to manage these moments. My husband and I continue to love and embrace each other and what we have. There is a lovely freedom in that too! We know that regardless of whether or not we become parents or if our family grows beyond the two of us that we can still have a fulfilling and happy life together. I am also learning that there are many ways to nurture others in a non traditional sense of parenting. Hosting an exchange student is a dream we have for the future! So for me and us, things have gotten better since my diagnosis of Early Menopause and associated infertility. The process of grief and change that pursued was like being thrown around and around inside a washing machine that was so intense I couldn’t catch my breath. I feel like I have now been thrown out the other side, the spinning and turbulence has stopped. The sun is shining. When the reminders and flickers of grief do surface or I daydream about what we would have named our child, whether it would have been a boy or a girl or if our baby would have been blessed with my husband’s eyes and smile, I take a deep breath and now know that this too shall pass. I hope that in your own journey of healing you are surrounded by the love and support of understanding family and friends, a wonderful doctor/s and hope for your future, whatever it may bring. Tanya admin on "Updated Information on the Website" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/updated-information-on-the-website#post-493 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:28:03 +0000 admin 493@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hello again, I have updated and added some new information to the AEMN website - in particular the Fertilty section, Links and Resources page as well as Personal Stories. Many thanks to Geraldine from 'Still Mind Whole Body' for so generously helping with technical aspects of the update (www.stillmindwholeboady.com/index.html). Her time and talents are most appreciated. A BIG thank you to Neona for sharing her personal journey of Menopause with AEMN - what an inspiration she is. Thank you also to Fionnuala from 'Vitality Images' (www.vitalityimages.com) for her kind donation of the beautiful photo on our Fertility page. There are some great articles both in PDF and audio format on the Links and Resources page courtesy of Jean Hailes in Melbourne! Enjoy the updates, Tanya admin on "AEMN in the News" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/aemn-in-the-news#post-492 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:15:01 +0000 admin 492@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Everyone, The Australian Early Menopause Network will be featured in the Body and Soul lift out of the Sunday newspaper this weekend (20/11/11). AEMN has begun to attract some media interest which is fantastic and will really help our efforts to promote and support women experiencing EM and associated fertility challenges. I hope that you're havng a great week, Tanya Ger on "Thyroid Medication - T3 Could be the Answer!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/thyroid-medication-t3-could-be-the-answer#post-490 Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:58:05 +0000 Ger 490@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Tanya - thank you for sharing your success with T3. I too am one of Hashi's people! I am keen to give it a go but cannot get it in Shanghai where I live. Will keep you posted of my trials and errors in acquiring it:-) Ger admin on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-489 Thu, 22 Sep 2011 18:41:06 +0000 admin 489@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Marissa, Welcome to AEMN! I was terribly sorry to read of your EM diagnosis and associated challenges. The grief, shock and adjustment to life and relationships are all very difficult. I hope that you find comfort and support in knowing that there are other women going through the same thing that truly understand and are here to listen. It was lovely to read that you have the support of your husband, daughter and immediate family. Living in a parenting world is really hard when you're going through EM and related fertility issues. EM is also largely not talked about so things combined can make it hard to share your story and grief with others, especially when people close to you are having a baby. For me, this has certainly gotten easier but sometimes I still do have a little moment when a friend announces that they're pregnant. I get asked about having a baby/children regularly and now have various answers prepared depending on who's doing the asking and how I feel at the time. As I mentioned in my previous post, I am constantly amazed by the number of women in EM who have Thyroid and/or other autoimmune related conditions. I'm keen to explore the link further and will try and get some more info from my endo when I see him next. I have Hashimoto's (Thyroid prob) and it took me a while to get my hormones balanced and it does take ongoing monitoring for me. Taking T3 as well as Thyroxin is a new combination for me that has really made a big difference. I hope that you find a balance that works for you very soon. Good to hear that the HRT helped with your Menopause symptoms. I too, really hope that the AEMN community continues to grow. I'm glad that you've found your way to the site Marissa and please let me know if you have any questions. Thinking of you! Take care, Tanya Riss83 on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-488 Wed, 21 Sep 2011 22:31:28 +0000 Riss83 488@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Ladies, Breaks my heart to read everyones stories, but sadly comforting knowing that I am not alone in this journey, even though at times you can feel so alone. I was diagnosed with early menopause at the age of 27 after waiting for my periods to return for 6months following implanon (which I had in for approx. 9 years). I was put on HRT (trisequence sp.) which has thankfully made some of my symptoms disappear. However, my health deteriorated more, and I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism from a suspected autoimmune problem. I am now on thyroxine for that as well as the HRT and still battling to get everything balanced out. I have been married for nearly 2 years now, and my husband and I are still coming to grips with not being able to have children together. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who we have full custody of, and I'm sure I wouldn't be faring so well if it wasn't for her. She is the beacon of light in my struggle with coming to grips with the situation. We are considering going the donor egg route though, so I do have hope of one day having a baby. I hope that one day I can feel comfortable enough to talk openly about everything, as only my immediate family knows for now. That does make it harder as my sister in law just had a baby, and I know everyone will be asking when it's our turn. I'm just not sure if I can talk about it without breaking down. We'll get there I'm sure. I'm glad there are avenues such as this for women to come together and talk about this. I hope this community does grow, and that we can all be there to support each other. Take care ladies. Marissa admin on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-487 Sun, 18 Sep 2011 11:50:55 +0000 admin 487@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Lainie and Ladies, Apologies for my delayed response! I have not been 100% (not Menopause related) with a back injury and will be having some major surgery in a couple of weeks. I've had lots of test and scans recently because of my back and they showed issues with my joints (Menopause related) so I'm now having further tests for this! My joints hadn't been particularly bothering me so I am grateful that it's been picked up and I can work out what to do to keep them happy! Lainie, it sounds like that you too have had a roundabout of investigations - I am glad that you have some answers and are now looking for solutions that work for you. Many women I know in EM have autoimmune related challenges and issues with wheat/gluten. I wonder what the link is?? The last few weeks have also reminded me of the importance to have ongoing and regular tests and checks to manage Menopause and associated implications on bones etc. I have heard of women in EM being on the pill for a variety of reasons - helping them feel young, so they can still have a period etc. I've never been told that about the HRT link. Has anybody else? I was thrilled to hear that your symptoms of Menopause have settled down and the gift your son is to you. I agree that there are many women out there experiencing EM and the more we talk about the more we can help each other. There is still a BIG misconception out there that Menopause is only experienced by older women as well as it being just about hot flushes! I also think that however a woman arrives at EM the implications on their life physically and emotionally are HUGE and for many, the associated infertility is the hardest to bear. I'm so glad that a few AEMN members are keen for a meet up. It's my goal to make it happen in 2012. Can't wait to meet you all! My ability to be online over the coming weeks may be limited so feel free to keep writing to each other! Have a great week, Tanya Lain24 on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-486 Tue, 30 Aug 2011 11:51:02 +0000 Lain24 486@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hello Everyone, Well I finally have some answers, but not all!! I have some serious autoimmune issues, but nothing that they can put a name to - it is very frustrating!! I have seriously low Vitamin D levels (apparently lower than someone living in a nursing home who gets no sun) and I am also borderline Coeliac. However my thyroid seems fine...go figure!! I had a bone density scan and that was all OK, although I am right on the low end of normal. Next checkup in 2 years. I am now on a Vitamin D supplement as this is a big issue for bone density. My endo specialist has put me on the pill, as she has said that HRT only gives half the dose of estrogen that someone my age requires, whereas the Pill will give a full dose. Has anyone else been told this? The good news is that after a fortnight the hot flushes have petered out, so I am feeling much more normal!! Apparently there is not much else they can do, so my next appointment is in December. I have met with a nutritionist though, and she has been fantastic and we have sat down and done a plan. My weight has ballooned since I had my son 10 years ago, and the endo specialist said that this would be due to the menopause. Hopefully now that I have a great diet, and good exercise plan this will start to come off gradually. Overall I feel blessed by small miracles - after telling the doctor that I had been on the pill from age 13 to 25 because of horrendous periods, she said to me that in all likelihood that was the only reason I was able to have a child at all, and if I had not been on the pill for that long I probably would have gone into menopause in my 20's. How lucky am I to have my son?? Menopause is such a huge issue for women, and one that is not talked about enough - particularly for those of us going through POF. I just want to shout it out to women all over the world not to take your fertility for granted - it is a precious gift. Thank you everyone for your ongoing support, and I too would love to have a get together. Take care, Lainie admin on "Support in Melbourne" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/support-in-melbourne#post-485 Wed, 24 Aug 2011 22:55:46 +0000 admin 485@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hello again Jo, I hope that you are having a good week. I have made contact with another member of AEMN who lives in Melbourne. She is very happy to connect/communicate with you r.e EM etc. If you're still interested, please email me at <a href="mailto:earlymenopause@yahoo.com">earlymenopause@yahoo.com</a> and I can introduce you both via email! Take care, Tanya Jeanette on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-484 Wed, 24 Aug 2011 21:10:16 +0000 Jeanette 484@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Lainie I hope you are feeling better since your last post, both physically and emotionally!! Hope you have gotten some definitive answers as well!!! On the subject of answers, I went to another Dr to do some more tests. It has been 6mths since being diagnosed and I feel like I need to take control over EM and get some straight answers. Thanks to this awesome site, I went into the Dr with a list of questions and things that I wanted tested. So hopefully next week I will have the results and am going for a bone density test next month. I also had a break through with my parents, I have an amazing relationship with my mum and dad as we are very close, but since being told I have EM, it has been like the big elephant in the room that no one talks about!!! The awkwardness of do they talk about it, me thinking about what they must be thinking, miscommunication etc etc, is now all gone - and we openly talk about it, which is such a load of my shoulders!! Tanya, I feel for you with your weight gain, as if you hadn't gone through enough!!!! I'm glad things have started to settle down for you in regards to your weight - in my tests I did also get my thyroid tested so I will just have to wait and see. A get together sounds like a wonderful idea!! Take care everyone Jeanette :-) admin on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-478 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 21:21:13 +0000 admin 478@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Lainie, I really hope that your visit to the endo was a positive one and you got the answers you were looking for. The grief and shock of an EM diagnosis is full of ups and downs. Please know that your EM contacts out her in cyberspace are thinking of you and completely understand what you're going through. I agree with Louise, once you have the right balance of HRT (if that's the route you decide to go down) your symptoms will really diminish and hopefully dissapear. This was certainly the case for me. I can now also tell when my body needs a HRT adjustment. So happy that you are surrounded by a good support network! Thinking of you, Tanya admin on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-477 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 21:13:30 +0000 admin 477@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Jeanette, Great to hear from you again! Yes, living in the moment is a challenging and ongoing lesson for me too! R.e EM and fertility stuff, I have found that it does get a bit easier over time but I have to keep an eye on it! I also experienced some anxiety when my hormones were out, but my HRT has helped with this. To answer your question - I gained weight when I was really sick (prior to my hysterectomy) and once I entered Menopause I felt very bulgy and bloaty. I have always been very slim and put on approx 25kg overnight!! Not fun! It is my understanding that hormonal changes in Menopause can produce weight gain but the biggest problem for me was my Thyroid. Have you had Yours checked? It is not uncommon for women in EM to have Thyroid concerns. Now that my HRT and thyroid medication is balanced, I am starting to lose weight and my belly is not as swollen! I haven't returned to my previous weight but am certainly heading down the scales. I will say that my weight gain did plateu and I knew it was my metabolism playing up as no matter what I did exercise or food wise the weight wasn't shifting. Obviously everyone's body is different and hormones affect us all in varying ways but being on the right thyroid medication has been the answer for me. This has taken me a number of years to get sorted and has left me feeling very heavy and uncomfortable for some time. So many invisible changes were happening inside my body, my weight gain was very obvious and my swollen tummy meant I looked pregnant - which was incredibly ironic! Nothing like looking your expecting a baby when you can't actually have one. In fact, a couple of strangers even asked if I was pregnant!! I have seen a naturopath many years ago, but not for EM. As much as I wanted to go the natural route to deal with my HRT symptoms, I couldn't take the risk with my bones and heart long term. So glad that you have a wonderful group of supportive friends and I look forward to hearing from you again soon! Take care, Tanya admin on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-476 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 20:54:12 +0000 admin 476@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Louise, Thank you for the SMH link and the Family Planning Clinic. I have been to Jean Hailes before and they were good. You're right about EM not being more widely recognised. Hopefully our work at AEMN will change that!!! From my research there is lots of info out there for women who enter Menopause naturally, later in life when you're supposed to. As we all know EM is a completely ball game and there's not much info, research, support out there for us younger chics. Glad we can all stick together on this forum. It is my intention to organise some kind of weekend gatehring/conference in the future r.e Early Menopause for AEMN. Attending a similar weekend in NZ a few years ago had such a positive impact on my life, healing and EM, I want to provide the same oppotunity for us in Oz. I hope that you're having a good week and look forward to hearing from you again soon! Tanya blonde_louise on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-475 Mon, 15 Aug 2011 16:27:23 +0000 blonde_louise 475@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Lainie, your tiredness sounds awful...trust me, HRT will help the sleeplessness and hot flushes almost instantly. And of course, there are other benefits to HRT, from the things that taking it now can prevent ( heart disease and osteopprois)..so, i hope your endocrinologist is switched on. WOuld love to hear what he says about the causes of your EM. Hey, did you see yesterday's Sun Herald ( Sydney paper)...confirming what my research and doc had told me about "natural " HRT...please girls, especially Jeanette, read this article...talks about the possible DANGERS of natural therapies. Here is the link...pls let me know what you think. To view the entire article, click on: <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/elixir-of-youth-or-cancer-risk-20110813-1irxg.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/elixir-of-youth-or-cancer-risk-20110813-1irxg.html</a> Ok, if you cant just getto the link by clicking here, then put into a search engine the words "smh elixir of youth" and the link to the article wil come up. Louise. Lain24 on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-474 Mon, 15 Aug 2011 09:30:55 +0000 Lain24 474@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Once again, I just wanted to state what a wonderful site this is, particularly the forum whereby we can express how we feel, and know that everyone reading the posts understands. I have felt over the last few weeks since my diagnosis, every emotion both positive and negative. Positive in that I have a lot to be grateful for - a wonderful husband, an amazing little boy who tells me every day how much he loves me, and a small group of fantastic friends who are sympathetic. On days like today though, the negative seems to overwhelm - I dragged myself out of bed after another sleepless night of debilitating hot flushes that left me drenched even in the middle of winter. I just don't seem to have any energy and could quite happily go back to bed and sleep all day. I am off to the endocrinologist later today, and have mixed feelings about it. I want some closure in that I need to know if there is something underlying that has caused the POF, but in the same breath I don't want to know. I am trying to stay positive, but some days it is just so hard to go on with the everyday normal life and not feel a little cheated. Thanks to everyone at AEMN for being so caring and understanding. Lainie Jeanette on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-473 Sun, 14 Aug 2011 14:50:30 +0000 Jeanette 473@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Thanks Tanya for your advice!! I am one of those people who has my life mapped out and constantly thinks about the future, always asking questions and like you, Tanya, it leaves me feeling anxious, stressed and often very upset!!! But you are so right, just to take each moment as it comes (easier said then done!!!) but so, so true!!! I must say that I feel for blonde_louise and the other ladies who have lost friends due to their EM, I am so incredibly lucky to have an amazing group of friends who support me and are ALWAYS there to listen!! I haven't had any negative issues as such when I tell people, just an outpouring of shock and concern and the exact same line 'we didn't even know it existed!', which I think is why people are quick to judge and make insensitive comments. I know myself, that I used to make jokes about menopause, but now realise just how insensitive I was being. I think it all comes down to education - we are constantly barraged with media, print etc about the incline of egg reproduction in your 30's, the symptoms of menopause for the 50 and over ladies etc, but nothing to even prepare you for EM!! I do believe it will just take time - and with AMAZING sites like this and our own ability to inform people, it is already happening! It's funny, but it is an invisible disease as mentioned above, life just goes on and no one around you understands. Sometimes I forget I have it!!! A quick question - I am not on any form of medication, as my symptoms aren't often and to be honest I don't feel any different!! However, in the best 8 weeks, I have started to gain weight (and it's not from eating anything more or different) I am incredible active so I'm wondering if there is anything other than diet (my sister is helping work on that) or exercise to rectify this problem - I know it sounds vain, but I just hate the extra weight and feel so ugly and depressed because clothes don't fit!!! Also, how do you feel about naturopaths, as I am quiet keen to visit one? Thanks again for all the support, just knowing there are ladies out there experiencing the same makes me feel better!! Tanya, thanks for wanting to connect me with other people, but I would prefer to keep my chats over the internet for the moment :-) blonde_louise on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-472 Sun, 14 Aug 2011 06:45:58 +0000 blonde_louise 472@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Thanks fro your post Tanya, I am in Sydney. I think there is still a lot of ignorance about EM, and , indeed, the full picture is not fully understood by health professional. There is a great association in Melbourne called the Jean Hailes Foundation, and they do have fact sheets etc, and the occasional speaker...but, the talks tend to be in Victoria. I guess part of the ignorance tends to be because we ( or certainly I) don't want to speak publicly about it... After my diagnosis I feared that I was suddenly ageing faster than everyone else...and, besides, who wants to talk about their reproductive bits to men and people we hardly know. We need a poster girl for EM! That reminds me, I did find a wonderful, caring and informative doctor at a Family Planning Clinic..perhaps you can all find your local FPA branch, and the doctors there specialsie in womens' health issues. The service is free, they just ask for a small, but voluntary donation. Truly wonderful. admin on "AEMN Member Database" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/aemn-member-database#post-471 Thu, 11 Aug 2011 18:20:32 +0000 admin 471@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Everyone, I'm trying to establish an email contact list for AEMN members. I often get asked to connect people living in the same city/area and at times, I receive information about EM that I would like to forward on via email. If you are happy to share your email address with me and the area/city you live in, please send me an email at <a href="mailto:earlymenopause@yahoo.com">earlymenopause@yahoo.com</a> Please also let me know if you are happy for me to share your email address with other women experiencing EM in your city/area. I will not share your email address with anyone, unless I have your permission. Our AEMN community is really beginning to build! Many thanks and take care, Tanya admin on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-470 Thu, 11 Aug 2011 18:14:09 +0000 admin 470@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Blonde - Louise, Welcome to AEMN! Sounds like things have been trying and I hope that connecting with our community of women who understand will be of some help and affirm that you are not alone. I was delighted to read about the gift of your two girls! Isn't it funny how medical professionals and friends who you thought would understand, don't. Losing friends during a time of change and personal challenge is never easy. My husband often reminds me that you know who you're true friends are when a crisis hits! I've also learnt to trust my own intuition about helath professionals, what they're saying and what's best for my body. I too, am a fan of Vagifem (in pessary form) and I also use Ovestin Vaginal Cream externally to keep my bits young and from not drying up before their time!!! Funny, no one ever talks about this element of EM - but it is so important! Thank you for sharing what is working for you. Which part of Aus are you in? Much health and happiness, Tanya admin on "Support in Melbourne" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/support-in-melbourne#post-469 Thu, 11 Aug 2011 17:56:30 +0000 admin 469@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Jo, It's so great to have you as part of the AEMN community - a warm welcome! Yes, being in EM can be very isolating. I hope that connecting with other women experiencing EM will bring you some support and comfort. I suspect that the Jean Hailes Foundation in Melbourne (9562 7555) and/or the Melbourne IVF Clinic (9416 3862) located in Epworth Freemasons Hospital would be able to recommend a good enocrine dr. All the best with your ongoing HRT trial - finding hormonal balance is rarely a smooth ride. Please feel free to email through or post on the forum any other specific questions you may have. Thoughts and best wishes, Tanya Jo Marie on "Support in Melbourne" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/support-in-melbourne#post-468 Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:31:21 +0000 Jo Marie 468@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi there, Its so good to come across this site! This type of experience can be very isolating. Can anyone recommend a good endocrine specialist in Melbourne? Also, if anyone lives in Melbs and has a shared experience of early menopause - I would love to get in touch. I am 35 and I am trailing HRT - 4 months of painful swollen breasts has not been fun. Cheers, Jo blonde_louise on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-467 Mon, 08 Aug 2011 16:29:03 +0000 blonde_louise 467@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi girls, my heart aches for you too. Definitely one of the worst things about EM is that you really can't talk to anyone about it. I lost a couple of friends as a result; one who was undergoing breast cancer treatment ( and therefore undergoing menopause as the chemo stopped her ovaries from working) told me I was copping out because I took HRT! I was only 37, and as my gynae said, I MUST take HRT to protect my heart and bones (and btw, the last thing someone with breast cancer needs is any more oestrogen). Another "friend" then told me that the reason I had wrinkle-free skin was due to the HRT ! It is actually cuz I avoid the sun, I am so fair. Then of course,i had a few others say "that is GREAT, no more periods ". Even a GP and a specialist dentist I was seeing at the time..it is astounding that so few health professionals know about it.Um, no, it is not great. OK, so I decided that I am in this alone, and I vowed to tell no one else. Until this fantastic site ! We can share ideas and feelings. There is so little known about the WHY. I am lucky that I managed to have two children, and, like you Jeanette, I bizzarely went into EM when my second one was just a few years old. No idea how it was possible to conceive this close to menopause. And, like you Jeanette, mine are girls. I love them dearly, but I find myself regularly telling them to not leave it until they are on their 30s to have kids. I have one very close friend who I told, and she has agreed that, should I suddenly be hit by a bus, she will be the one that tells my girls their genetic history when they have left school ( they are in their early teens now, too young to grasp it). As regards the high cholesterol and EM, my advice would be to see a cardiologist, as high cholesterol is their area of expertise. You may find that taking the cholesterol-lowering medication is better than not taking it. Just as taking HRT until about age 50 is better than taking nothing. Please note, the "natural" HRT does NOTHING to protect your heart and bones, and it is doubtful that it does anything at all. As for libido, well, i am afraid not much other than testosterone medication can help that ( but apparently it can make you agressive)and I think it makes you prone to heart disease...also good to get some medication called Vagifem to, in the words of my lovely gynae, keep your vagina "young". There, I have shared that with you..something I have never told anyone ( only the pharmacist knows..he fills my script)...I defintely got strange looks when i was so young, they had to do a double-take. Big e-hug for you all. admin on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-466 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 14:09:34 +0000 admin 466@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Oh Jeanette, my heart broke as I read your story. What a horrific six months it has been for you and your family. I am so pleased that you felt ready to write and I have no doubt that the AEMN community will bring you much support through this incredibly trying time. How wonderful to have such a supportive and informed doctor – they are rare! Have you tried any HRT etc to help you with the yucky symptoms of Menopause? Once I got the balance right for me – I am pretty much symptom free. Although I can very quickly feel when I am not getting enough so I still have to monitor any changes and have recently had a medication change. I suspect this management will be ongoing as I get older etc. I am certainly not advocating that HRT is the answer. I didn’t want to take any myself but being in EM at 32, I needed some oestrogen to protect my bones and to keep me sane. I had a hysterectomy so no uterus means that I only need oestrogen. The grief and shock of being in EM and struggling with fertility is such a long road. Being surrounded by such an understanding husband, family and friends will certainly be helpful. At the same time, as Lainie and in fact any women I know in EM has said, it’s an isolating journey. For me, that hasn’t changed so the support of the NZ and AEMN networks has been such a saviour. I have a vision of my peers complaining about hot flushes in 20 – 30 years time! Maybe then they’ll get it a bit! LOL!! Projecting into the future, I think is part and parcel of this difficult diagnosis – will I be a mother? If not, that means no grandchildren. How will I become a mother? Can I have another baby? Will I have to battle Osteoporosis? What will be the implications of my HRT be on my body long term? Will I ever lose my Menopause induced weight? Is there a link with HRT and Cancer? What about my libido? Will my husband suddenly want a child that I can’t give him naturally? There are so many questions and very few answers. For me, looking to the future, particularly with these fears and unknowns created so much anxiety, stress and heartache. I realised that I couldn’t know let alone control any of this and it was making it all so much harder for me. So very slowly, I have taught myself to be more in the moment. Dealing with one thing at a time if and when it surfaces is the approach I now try to take. This has been a MASSIVE life lesson for me! I can’t predict whether I’ll be a Mum or not, I don’t know right now if I want to be. It’s the one element that continues to confuse me and I wish I knew either way. I believe if I’m meant to be one, I will be. Giving up this control has been excruciating and is the one ‘what if’ that floats in my mind from time to time. You may have read my personal story, I am unable to be a mother naturally so the options my husband and I have left are limited but there are certainly possibilities. Our mantra is ‘Adoption is an Option!’Sometimes, I imagine what our genetic child would have looked like or what we would have named her or him. These fantasies make me smile and sometimes shed a tear. I remind myself how lucky I am to be married to the wonderful man my husband is and that we are slowly rebuilding our lives and creating a new us and future. I think that grief has been harder for me – all the changes have been to my body and it’s me that is frequently asked about having children, hanging out with other mothers or pregnant women. Even colleagues at work (who don’t know my story) talk about their children incessantly. I get this, however assumptions are always made about my age and wanting to or being able to have a family. Being in EM is a very 'invisible' conditon and grief - there's nothing tangible to explain your loss, heartache and challenges. Seeing a new Dr can be hard as well - you have to tell the story all over again and some have said the most ridiculous things about me being in EM and infertile. I also think that men deal with grief and loss very differently. My husband had to watch me be sick month after month for years, being helpless to make it better. Now that we are sort of through the initial grief, heartache and changes associated with EM and infertility, we don’t talk about it as much. We don’t want to cloud our marriage with what we don’t have or the trauma we experienced, but rather look forward and enjoy my good health and each other. If I need to vent, I write, cry, speak to my counsellor or connect with other women in EM. Jeannette, it’s such early days for you and your family. Know that my thoughts are with you and I hope that this website will help you feel less isolated and know that it won’t always feel like this. Which part of Aus are you in? Are you happy to email me at <a href="mailto:earlymenopause@yahoo.com">earlymenopause@yahoo.com</a> so I can connect you with members in your area and also send through some EM for you. Take care Janette and I really look forward to hearing from you! Tanya admin on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-465 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 13:16:45 +0000 admin 465@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Lainie, Thanks for your kind words about the site. Yes, one of our members lives in Brisbane and I would be delighted to connect you. My personal experience has been that the isolation of the journey in terms of friends etc doesn't change. There will always be other people pregnant and having babies - some days it doesn't bother me at all and other days the grief is relived. I often have to rely on inner strength and grace, taking a deep breath, as strangers constantly ask if I have children, acquaintances or friends over indulge in the baby/child thing and to be quite honest many friendships have ceased or changed as people avoid the topic, don't know what to say or are no longer healthy for me. I suppose my life has also gone in a completely new and different direction to them. So connecting with other women in EM continues to be such a special and much needed part of my life. I will also say that despite the heartache and long term consequences of being in EM and infertile, I have learnt so much about myself, what I want in life, the gift that my husband is to me each day and a personal peace to be treasured. It's been a long road and will continue to have its ups and downs. It certainly has not been easy but I think that I've learnt to accept that people don't get it and they’re never going to, so removing the expectation that they will has really helped me. Of course, I am genuinely thrilled that they are blessed to have their own family, I just wanted the invisible pain I was in to be heard and seen. The fabulous women from the NZ and AEMN Networks have done this for me. I hope that that the Endocrinologist and your test results provide the information you need to bring positive outcomes and solutions. Are you happy to send me an email at <a href="mailto:earlymenopause@yahoo.com">earlymenopause@yahoo.com</a> so that I can connect you with the Brisbane member as well as sending you some other helpful info on EM? Take care Lainie and I look forward to hearing from you. Tanya Jeanette on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-464 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 15:01:13 +0000 Jeanette 464@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi So I now feel that I can talk about my premature menopause!! I was diagnosed about 6 months ago at the age of 29!! It felt like a kick in the guts!! My husband and I were trying for our second child, but nothing was happening so I went to my gyno to ask some questions (I wasn't worried at all, afterall I already had one child so didn't think the problem would be too serious and could be easily fixed, if there was one) My gyno was very puzzled by my condition (after breastfeeding my daughter, my periods returned like clock work for 6 months, only to disappear and reappear sporadically, then disappear completely) so tests were carried out. When the tests came back, I wasn't at all concerned, I was a healthy, fit, trim woman, who never was sick!! How wrong was I!!!!! The Dr looked at me and said it wasn't good and then he said that I had premature menopause - my stomach dropped and I began to cry! He then proceeded to tell me that our little girl is a miracle as she shouldn't have happened - which then made me bawl my eyes out. I was so fortunate to have him as my Dr, he gave me a hug and told me how sorry he was etc etc, he truly is a wonderful man! He then said he was going to run the tests again, but this time to bring hubby in with me - of course they came back with the same results. So there it was, I was infertile, and now going through menopause!!! To top it off, it's hereditary which means that when my little girl hits puberty we need to not only go through that, but also discuss egg harvesting with her so that she will have the chance to have children when she gets older (not the conversation I ever pictured having with my daughter!!) Just like the other ladies, my group of friends are starting families and adding to them, my sister has even just given birth, in fact about 10 babies have been born since my diagnosis and about another 5 announcements - each one hurts so much (but don't get me wrong, I am truly happy for my friends, the best girls around) As Lain24 said, no one understands, they try, but I do feel so isolated!! So many hopes and dreams for the future have gone, I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night because my little girl won't know the joy of playing with her brother or sister, or that I have let her down!! I thought it would get easier, but so far, not yet! To top off the infertility I am now experiencing the systems of menopause, the headaches, mood swings (my poor husband), the weight gain, hot flushes - it just gets better and better!! In saying all of the above, I am a lucky lady to be blessed with a fantastic husband and most perfect little girl - it's just nice to be able to talk to people who understand my sadness, anger and frustration and not feel guilty or ungrateful! Kind Regards Jeanette Lain24 on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-463 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 09:05:06 +0000 Lain24 463@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Nicole and Tanya, Thank you for your kind words and support. You are right about it being an isolating journey. I am the only one of my friends with one child, and all of them are continuing to expand their families. Whilst they are sympathetic and caring, they do not really understand what I am going through. I have done some research of my own in relation to high cholesterol and menopause, and estrogen plays a part in keeping cholesterol low, so it makes sense to me that the two issues could be linked. I am waiting to see the specialist for the additional tests, as my GP feels I should see an endocrinologist due to the rareness of my condition. Tanya, I live in Brisbane, so if you know of anyone locally that would be fantastic. Thank you both again for your support, and I think the site is fantastic. Kind Regards, Lainie admin on "Fantastic site!" http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/topic/fantastic-site#post-462 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 19:48:54 +0000 admin 462@http://www.aemn.com.au/forum/ Hi Lainie, Welcome to the Australian Early Menopause Network! How lovely that you have been blessed with your little angel! I was really sorry to read of your fertility challenges and diagnosis of POF. Connecting with other women experiencing EM and infertility was a life line for me. The grief, medical experiences and challenges assoicated with EM are very unique to women in these circumstances. I found it an isoloating journey as all of my friends were (and still are) having their own families and of course didn't understand what I was going through. All I can say to you is that you do come out the other side. For me, it won't ever go away and it's not something that I'll 'get over' but rather, I'm learning to manage and live with. My EM was a result of surgery so POF is not something I personally experienced. However, I did have high cholesterol as soon as I entered EM. Turns out that the problem was my thyroid and I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's (high cholesterol can be a symptom of this). My endocronoligist was telling me recently that it is not uncommon for women in Menopause to experience Thyroid challenges due to the drop in estrogen levels. It might be worth having a blood test to check your Thyroid. I have written some other posts about Thyroid 'stuff' that may be helpful. Please let me know, via this site or our email <a href="mailto:earlymenopause@yahoo.com">earlymenopause@yahoo.com</a> if you have any other questions or would like to know some specific info about something else. I'm really glad that you joined our community and hope that the journey ahead is a little easier knowing that there are other women who understand what you're going through. What part of Australia are you in? I may be able to contact you with other woman in your area etc. Take care Lainie, Tanya