Hi
So I now feel that I can talk about my premature menopause!! I was diagnosed about 6 months ago at the age of 29!! It felt like a kick in the guts!! My husband and I were trying for our second child, but nothing was happening so I went to my gyno to ask some questions (I wasn't worried at all, afterall I already had one child so didn't think the problem would be too serious and could be easily fixed, if there was one)
My gyno was very puzzled by my condition (after breastfeeding my daughter, my periods returned like clock work for 6 months, only to disappear and reappear sporadically, then disappear completely) so tests were carried out. When the tests came back, I wasn't at all concerned, I was a healthy, fit, trim woman, who never was sick!! How wrong was I!!!!!
The Dr looked at me and said it wasn't good and then he said that I had premature menopause - my stomach dropped and I began to cry! He then proceeded to tell me that our little girl is a miracle as she shouldn't have happened - which then made me bawl my eyes out. I was so fortunate to have him as my Dr, he gave me a hug and told me how sorry he was etc etc, he truly is a wonderful man! He then said he was going to run the tests again, but this time to bring hubby in with me - of course they came back with the same results.
So there it was, I was infertile, and now going through menopause!!! To top it off, it's hereditary which means that when my little girl hits puberty we need to not only go through that, but also discuss egg harvesting with her so that she will have the chance to have children when she gets older (not the conversation I ever pictured having with my daughter!!)
Just like the other ladies, my group of friends are starting families and adding to them, my sister has even just given birth, in fact about 10 babies have been born since my diagnosis and about another 5 announcements - each one hurts so much (but don't get me wrong, I am truly happy for my friends, the best girls around)
As Lain24 said, no one understands, they try, but I do feel so isolated!! So many hopes and dreams for the future have gone, I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night because my little girl won't know the joy of playing with her brother or sister, or that I have let her down!! I thought it would get easier, but so far, not yet!
To top off the infertility I am now experiencing the systems of menopause, the headaches, mood swings (my poor husband), the weight gain, hot flushes - it just gets better and better!!
In saying all of the above, I am a lucky lady to be blessed with a fantastic husband and most perfect little girl - it's just nice to be able to talk to people who understand my sadness, anger and frustration and not feel guilty or ungrateful!
Kind Regards
Jeanette